“What the hell is that Lauren?” asked Dan as I pulled out this embroidered bomber jacket. “Don’t you just love it?” I replied. He left the room. He left me debating whether I’d made a mistake.
This overpriced jacket looked great surrounded by the other weird and wonderful clothes in the shop but looked foolish in silo on my bedroom floor. It reminded me of those photos I have out there, on the internet, ludicrously styled from my past. We all have them; those ones embarrassingly brought up any time someone in my family wants to shame me or leave me mortified in front of nearly all potential boyfriends, (and husband as the case may be).
Needless to say they never made it onto the blog or Instagram. Until now.
Working in publishing over the years and especially inside Vogue House, you tweak your sense of style. You quickly realise what looks great and what looks dear Lord, bloody G-d awful. So here are some of my cardinal sins from years gone by and the most palpable fashion faux pas known to any ‘Style Blunders’ archive.
The rule book.
1. When life gives you patterns, never team it with layers and layers of cheap, discoloured plated metal necklaces.
2. Unless in Hawaii or in fancy dress, never wear a flower on the side of your head. Also never pair with a pink vest that has the sketch of a corset on the front, lined with lacy ribbon.
3. No matter how cold the ice rink at New York’s Rockefeller Centre is, there is no need to layer a (hand-knitted) cable scarf (with nautical buttons) with a lace black top, a pink cardi and a faux fur, cropped jacket. The gold lion face chain can also stay at home and the gunmetal Mulberry clutch should be reserved for evening only. The navy gloves, purple ear muffs and brown belt are optional.
4. Being at University and meeting interesting people for the first time allows you to be experimental. It does not however allow for bleached blonde hair, a 70s off the shoulder fuchsia-pink top and a matching white clutch. A silver army belt does not look great with any outfit unless selling shots. And that include black hot pants.
5. When looking for a potential suitor, it’s natural to want to show a little more flesh on an evening out. Note however that cutting yourself a fringe in the heat of the moment and wearing a skirt as a dress is not always the answer. Even if you do think you’re giving an intelligent nod to the tribal trend with some heavy animal print bangles, remember that gunmetal pointed platforms and a black headband is never a good way to tie in your accessories to your overall look.
6. Remember, braids and a tan can look cool on Beyoncé but always think carefully about getting the style for yourself the day before your school leavers ball. A pretty pink fishtail halter neck dress may not match your look.
Have you had any fashion slip ups? You can leave your comments below. I always reply. x