& Keep It That Way
Last night I lay awake until around 2.30am, my mind in absolute overdrive. With baby on the way my thoughts are all over the place. Blog post ideas for Sassyinthecity.com; baby brand collaborations for Littleinthecity.com; how our decorating is coming along; dear, is my baby moving enough? It’s tormenting at the best of times but when you’ve even more than usual going on it’s hard to switch off. I almost got up at 3am to pour out a blog post entitled “The Women Who Made Me“. I was consumed with paragraphs of things to write!
Nonetheless as I modelled for Astrid & Miyu in South Ken earlier today, I couldn’t help but think how lucky I am to have designed a life I truly love. One that is flexible, one that really gives me a spring in my step. Sure there are the times where I just want to curl up in front of the TV all day but overall I’d say I’m very happy right now. People can drive me up the wall (I’m only human after all) but I’m aware I’ve been given (and taken) opportunities that have presented themselves and made some good decisions along the way. The older I get the more I think about how short life is and how imperative it is to grab life by the horns and design our own destiny. I chose a green dress for this shoot because green has been proven to evoke happiness!
#1 Don’t Expect A Champagne Lifestyle On A Minimum Wage Work Ethic
I love this quote. It’s so accurate. From as young as I can remember I’ve always been a bit of a workaholic. A therapist once told me I use work as an escapism. To be fair, I agree with that. Whenever I feel sad, I’ll crack open my emails. If I’m angry, I’ll lift my Macbook lid. If I’m bored or can’t sleep, I’ll be reading or researching online. I know this isn’t healthy yet in turn it’s made grafting habitual for me. When I worked in media, I always remember people thinking they could get a promotion purely because they’d been in their role for a year. This sense of entitlement isn’t right, what they’re forgetting is that they need to work. Need to prove themselves. Go above and beyond expectations and be dedicated to a common goal. Ultimately working gets you places, just make sure you have that all important work/life balance.
#2 Dreams don’t work unless you do
Always wanted to do that trip to South America? Dreamed of sailing around the Greek islands with your own skipper licence? No one is going to wave a magic wand and make it happen for you. You make it happen. Take the classes, do the research, save up. All too often I hear “Oh I’d love to…”, well what’s stopping you? In my friendship group I’ve a best friend who quit her job in luxury fashion to go work in marketing for a football team. I admire her confidence and braveness living in a different city and making a host of new friends all by herself. Another two of my friends went travelling four years ago and never came back. Both living in Australia and loving life! If you’re still at home looking out of the window and fantasising about what could be, remember dreams don’t work unless you make them happen.
#3 He’s Just Not That In To You
Ahh the person you’re infatuated with. The one you yearn to hear from. Like pretty much everyone I’ve been there, done that and had the issues that go with it for a few months afterwards. I’ve always said that dating is a numbers game. Lust should also never be forced. If he/she doesn’t reciprocate, don’t bother. You can’t make someone like you and even if you do, do you think it’ll really be plain sailing afterwards? Almost everyone at least once in their life will not have their feelings returned – or at least not on the same level. So to design a life you love, cut out the drama. As hard as it is to do, find a distraction and love yourself.
#4 It’s Your World
Don’t be that person who blames everyone around you. I’m a true believer in being the master of my own destiny. I’ll forgive that girl who dropped her foundation all over my white dress on the tube (true story). I won’t blame the torrential rainfall for my low mood. Instead I understand that I’m in control. Besides, it’s quite nice to fall asleep with the window open when it’s raining outside. Rather therapeutic.
#5 Believe in The Positives
A defeatist attitude looks good on no one. Nor does it do any one any good. If you think you’re likely to fail at the first hurdle then psychologically you’re not going to want to even bother trying. By harbouring positive thoughts, you’ll feel more motivated, develop better skill sets and improve brain functionality by growing key areas linked to chemicals that makes one happy and content. Bear in mind the ‘child behaviour’. One that runs around outside, makes friends in the playground, uses his/her imagination and is creative when playing. The child is growing, learning, developing confidence. It doesn’t have to stop when you hit your twenties.
#6 Be Grateful
I recently admitted to starting to keep a diary. A page-a-day that I write every evening before bed. I start with a ‘today’s mantra’ (usually something like ‘be aware of how I treat others’), follow with some free flowing thoughts and finish with what I’m grateful for. Being humble and giving back to people is something I’m increasingly more aware of. Charity work, spirituality, I wrote about this in my previous post ‘Your Biggest Asset: Investments To Make In Yourself’. A grateful mind is a loving mind.
#7 Go Outside Of Your Comfort Zone
In my post ‘How To Not Shy Away From Difficult Situations’ I wrote about the importance of going outside of your comfort zone. In order to design a life you love, you need variation, new challenges and ultimately you need to appreciate your down time. When I met my husband I was very much ‘there are two days, weekday and weekend’. I’d go out partying any day of the week and sometimes a weekend evening wouldn’t be too dissimilar. Dan however is very much Mon-Thur work, weekend is the weekend. My life structure changed massively. I began to appreciate the going out times more, having way more fun and not feeling guilty/tired/down the next day.
Green Maternity Smock – ASOS (sold out but red gingham available)
Gold Heels – River Island (sold out but similar here)
Ring – MeMe London
Earrings – Stella and Dot