How To Stop Saying ‘Yes’ & Regain Your Life

We’ve All Been There

Attended the parties we hated among the people we can’t stand. Had that feeling of being put under pressure evolving into sleepless nights because we’ve accepted more work. We’ve even spent that extra amount of cash on a hotel, outfit and wedding gift when we’d really rather not bother. Think about it long enough and you’ll see just how long your list actually it. As a polite, British nation we’re guilty of succumbing and letting etiquette and manners take centre stage. Even when we’d really rather just decline.

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Panic

In a recent moment of total panic and anxiety, I began to think how I’d gotten there. With a pain in my chest I could feel myself going under, feeling the walls closing in and not being able to see a way out. Is this how it feels when you’ve gone a little too far and realise you need to make severe life changes to get yourself back on track?

Stress

In moments of stress I know I’m not myself. When those moments are amplified, when you think you can’t possibly feel any worse, something happens and bang. You feel the most unpleasant ever.

Part of the problem is piling too much on your plate. Being too empathetic, too much of a ‘people pleaser’. Whilst in society it’s essential to be kind and considerate, remember that there is such a thing as being too much of a push over. Not setting your own priorities above everyone else’s.

Be trained in prioritising your ‘me-time’

In essence, it’s easy to revaluate how you approach certain situations going forward. It’s a case of thinking about what you want – and doing it. Don’t want to go out? Be truthful. Would rather have a bath than see a friend? It doesn’t happen all the time so why not just do it? Are you disciplined enough about your me time? In not relaxing when your body and mind is telling you to, you’ll feel the effects later in the week.

Love yourself

Look ahead at your week. Are you donating enough time doing the things that please you? Are you investing in your mind, body, soul, hobbies and interests? For me I am constantly putting off reading ‘Girl On A Train’. Why? No reason. There’s just always an excuse. Something to do for someone else, social media to take care of, chores around the house… Only recently have I realised again that it’s so important to give yourself little treats during the day. Put off that phone call and read a magazine. Decline that invite to dinner and curl up on the sofa with a film instead.

Check yourself

Are you constantly being given more and more tasks? Are you over committing to invitations and using your time on things – or people – who are using you? When you’re unattached, there’s always that friend who you don’t hear from for months – even years – then suddenly they’re single and wanting to see you everyday again. It’s often not easy to realise when you are being manipulated and can sometimes be offensive to the other person if misinterpreted so do think about this one.


Sing to a new melody

Weirdly, the more you think about being less of a ‘yes person’, the more you wonder what your true self is. You get paranoid. I overcame this by getting a new life mantra, deciding that I wouldn’t always be that person who is around and up for a laugh. I made it clear that I’d be taking time out for myself, spend more time with my partner. It’s important to be yourself and be kind but let people know that you’ve found your back bone and you won’t always be the reliable person who is ‘always there’.

Leave on time

There’s a rule of thumb in some companies that you have to be seen in the office after hours to be considered for promotion. If this is the case, are you getting enough work done during the day? Are you genuinely doing work and if so, are you taking on too much work? In many corporate companies, I’ve learned that your ‘to do’ list will never be empty, it’ll constantly evolve. Something to remember.

How have you got your life back? How did you become less of a ‘yes person’? Comment below Xx

 

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