Hands up if you've ever claimed to be 'perfect'? I have, many times. More often than not it's when I'm bickering with my husband to enforce the point he's wrong and I'm right and at the time, I convince myself to the point of almost believing. But do I really think I'm perfect? I guess it depends how you interpret 'perfection'.
Do I think I’m the best version of me? Yes. Am I guilty of ignoring my faults and sometimes using denial as a defence? Yes. So considering these two, surely I’m not?
As humans there will never be a point where everything’s going well. Search hard enough and you’ll always find something else to work on. In my last post about toxic comparisons I eluded to the stress and anxiety that comes with comparing yourself to what you deem as ‘perfect’. In relationships if you’re always pursuing the ‘happy ever after’ fairy tale (like the one you think that person on Facebook has) then you’re chasing the unrealistic. But we know this. What many of us don’t know though is to what scale we allow ourselves to become dominated by this unrealism. Without realising we do ourselves more harm than good when constantly reading status’ online, seeing photoshopped images and indulging in an edited version of someones life. How available are you making yourself to it?
For bloggers, at what point do we stop sharing all the amazing things and fall back down to earth on social media? I try to focus on fashion and beauty content but those bloggers who are letting you in to their personal life, their personal space, are they guilty of over exaggerating the happy times and negating all the negative from their corner of the online world? The YouTubers at home, inviting you to experience things with them. Personal problems/daily gripes aren’t ‘click-bait’. No one wants to read about the monotony of every day life. Whilst some do want to read a ‘dear diary’ post now and then, we as humans visiting the online community don’t want to hear about the drama in the car park, the petty row with the other half. We want escapism and pretty pictures.
When I’m with friends, I’ll say I’m ‘perfect’ in a sarcastic, self depreciating manner. I enforce the fact that I’m not perfect and laugh at the prospect of anyone thinking they are. Isn’t it funny how our tone can change depending on who we’re speaking to? Do I think my daughter is perfect? Yes. Do I think my husband is perfect? I think he’s pretty close. Can my attitude about ‘perfection’ have an influence on all of these people? Absolutely.
So what’s right and wrong? Should we believe in perfection?
That flawless paint job, the impeccable hand stitching on a new dress… that’s perfect, yes? There can’t be any room for improvement because well, it’s the best it can be. So some things can be perfect. But can we as humans be perfect? I believe that as complex individuals there’s always room for development, always something we can tweak to ‘perfect’ ourselves. But by believing in human perfection, I think you’re setting yourself up for a bitter disappointment.
“Perfection does not exist. To understand it is the triumph of human intelligence; to desire and possess it is the most dangerous kind of madness” – Alfred de Musset
Perfection cannot exist everywhere. While you may think an image of a supermodel is ‘perfect’ another may disagree. Ultimately you might believe the pursuit of ‘perfection’ is a good way to live; everything being perfect, orderly and in it’s place. You may be a clean freak or possess a monstrous amount of ambition to get yourself to the ‘perfect’ job. You may have an unrealistic obsession with body image, your weight or hair. This type of behaviour will only enable you to seek quick fixes, that are short-lived relief of anxiety.
Whilst one person strives for perfection in every way they evidently cannot control some things. Like their health. In fact lots of research has proven that ‘perfectionists’ are ultimately unhappy in the long run and those with an obsessive need for perfect can in fact cause mental un-wellness generally. Who wants to invite that kind of stress in to their life?
How To Be Perfect
Despite everything, I do think there are ways you can feel more perfect. More polished. Taking care of your diet and wellbeing will in turn take care of your appearance and mental health. Good deeds, being nicer to people and being considerate will also (selfishly) make you feel more ‘perfect’. Happiness is the goal – not being perfect. By delegating your energy to a different cause you’ll surely be on your way to feeling ‘perfect’.